I have a bit to unpack today. First, this theory that work-life balance is a realistic concept, and Second, the validity of Self-Care and what that actually means. I have spent over a decade in search of just how to balance work-life. Seriously flipping through article after article, talking with friends who appear to have a much better grip on life than I did at the time, playing 21 questions with whomever would entertain my thoughts on the subject and here is what I have found…Balance is not the right word. Suggesting that work and life can somehow fit on a weighted scale and come out weighing the same and seemingly “balance” is a fallacy. What I have come to realize throughout the years of chasing this idea of balance, that work (my work in particular) isn’t as consistent as some of the friends I polled for their ideas on the balancing act. That is a major factor and could become an entirely different piece when you really delve into the difficulties of time management and scheduling in reference to those of us whose careers are in public service. Nevertheless, it is something worth addressing.
When I think about balance my mind always jumps to food (have a well-balanced diet they said…yet here we all are struggling to find the time to barely have a working lunch, let alone a healthy and balanced one). This may or may not speak volumes for those that know me, but there are certain foods on my plate that can’t touch. For instance, at a Holiday dinner, my greens typically are plated alone (I like them vinegary) because if they are plated with the rest of my meal and my plate shifts it could add a bitter taste to the otherwise savory side dishes that remain and RUIN my holiday (that came off extreme, but I am 100% serious). Irregular work hours can add a bitter taste to the flavor of your day and I haven’t really come across HOW one can balance the flavors, but more so Manage the flavors by only allowing the things that blend together well overlap, and those that don’t must remain separate. For instance, while at home I can cook dinner and help my daughter with homework, those two flavors blend well enough as to allow the activities to overlap and occupy the same time slot. However, helping her study for a test requires my full attention (the greens) and must be separate from everything else.
If you have a moment to examine my little pie chart titled “Not enough hours in a day” 
you will see that on a good day, work would be the “Greens” of my day. It would eat up a lot of undivided time and attention, and that is with getting off at my designated time, which again was not the norm. At the close of my day you see that my Plate already is not balanced, and in life there isn’t much you can do about that, so I had to abandon the theory of balance and actually manage the time I had left to the best of my ability.
That small slice of orange was typically the waking hours I had left to spend with my children before it was time for them to go to bed. Yup, that was it! A measly 3 hours was all that they got after 14 hours of my absence throughout the day. It took creating the pie chart for me to really grasp the full scope of how crucial time management really is and how to prioritize the time that I do have to ensure that my children get all that they deserve of me. But HOW do I do this and not have my house look like a laundry bomb exploded and a hurricane of toys ran through the main floor? I still don’t have an answer for that. Maybe try and fit it in to the grey time slot, after a full day, and then time with my children, dinner as a family and catching up on conversations with my husband (because for the love of mankind I need this, a sensible adult conversation from someone who gets me) at the end of the day. Thankfully a lot has changed since I first created that pie chart, and I am working more and more on reaching goals I set for myself and my family, but with all things there is room for improvement and I have a ways to go before I am where I would ideally like to be. Oh, and I almost forgot there is sleep. Yes, that illusive little sucker that seems to slip through the cracks like sand. That slice of my pie is a dream, better yet, it’s a goal that I continue to work toward to try and get that amount of sleep. I haven’t reached that yet either because I am still working on my balance time management.
Now on to this Self-Care idea that graces the pages of every magazine and is constantly popping up on my Pinterest feed. For the love of hot baths, how do people find the time for the kind of self-care that I keep seeing heavily promoted? What does self care mean to you? I would love to know. Self-care has become a very transient being in my world, when a quiet ride in the car with the windows down and the radio off is about all that I am able to manage. Would I love to have a legit regimen? I sure would, but I am still working on that balance prioritizing my time to make that work. It’s a goal of mine for 2019 and I think I still have time left in the year to figure that out.
Baltimore has always had its charm and quirks, I wish people would just take the time to delve in deeper, look through the vacant lots and crime, and see that we have a lot to offer. One such offer is a plethora of Museums that boast fascinating rotating exhibits. Another is Whiskey. Yes, that’s right folks we have Whiskey Companies that distill right here in the city. One of our favorite drinks that we sampled at this delightful event was made with 
This event ended up being one that I would gladly make an annual outing and it was for a great cause. There is nothing I enjoy more than giving back to support the Arts…while drinking, of course.
Over time I’ve aimed to help our eldest daughter LJ have a broader range of experiences during our time here. A while back my sister and I had the opportunity to experience the serenity of the historic Highland Beach in Annapolis and we took LJ along for her first beach experience ever. My interest was peaked about the existence and preservation of this place during my family history research that I started years ago on my father’s side of the family. Amongst what felt like endless hours combing through hundreds of Afro news articles and Pat to Pansy news columns about the happenings of my family and others in or around the Baltimore area, I noticed a common theme for all of the family’s summer activities. Their time was split between visiting family in the north (Philly and NYC), and the other half was spent gallivanting along the shores of Highland Beach.
When it came time to venture to a beach, the choice at this point was easy. We were eager because of the history and cultural significance, and because our family also had a documented history with this place as well. I will state this, it is rather difficult to just venture to this beach. If you want the opportunity to do so, you would have to be a guest of a resident of this incorporated town. There is no public parking, no on-street parking and they do have very frequent patrols of the property that will challenge and validate your presence which is pretty neat and has enabled this area to remain as exclusive albeit inclusive as is. You will also be given a pass to carry with you to the beach area if you intend to use the provided beach chairs ect., which are designated for the residents of the town. 
But once all of the formalities are taken care of, afterward you are left to enjoy a very peaceful experience. The area has been able to withstand over development and because it is private, its quaintness is immense. LJ was able to gather sh
She patiently sat awaiting the conductor to come and collect the tickets. Her little body sitting so far forward in her seat from excitement that I don’t know how it counted as her being seated at all. When the train jerked at departure, she smiled, immediately pressed her face against the glass (naturally she had the window seat) and watched all of the sights as they slowly passed by as we gained a little speed. There was Holiday music, Santa, candy canes and sleigh bell sounds to encompass her train ride. She was in the midst of Holiday Bliss and was so sad when we pulled back in to the station and it wasn’t actually the North Pole. I think she really did think that the train was going to take us to at least see an Elf toy factory, which is more of her interest, she isn’t really concerned with Santa or his likenesses, yet she adores all things elves.
There were models of trains throughout the complex; the atmosphere was full of energy, as the place was FULL of families. Not so much that you felt overcrowded, but just enough for LJ to spread her social butterfly wings and converse with whoever was admiring the same train set as she was. It was also the perfect amount of white noise for LJ2 to sleep through most of the experience, and she conveniently waited until almost the end to have a diaper blow out to shame even the MOTHER of all diaper blowouts. Two outfit changes later and we were ready for Lunch.
